do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
