69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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