Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
