So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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