sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize