Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
