I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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