you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
