I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize