You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
