He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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