Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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