That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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