this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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