the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
