My friends, they love my intelligence
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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