once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
