I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
