CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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