he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
