is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
