tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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