but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
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You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
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He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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