So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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