DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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