you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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