i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
