It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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