Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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