gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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