Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
