Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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