I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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