you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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