Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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