i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We are all done wearing pants today
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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