Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
