Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
