didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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