My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize