somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Semen is not good for contacts.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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