My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
