I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
