you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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