what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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