at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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