...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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