I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
