Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
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I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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