Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
