Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
