thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You ruined the universe
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
