i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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