"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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