I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
