two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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