At least make sure they are 18
Why
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
