Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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