Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
