I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
