these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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