i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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