Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
