hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
