He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
A+ Viking dick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
