nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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