Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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