dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning