garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
