Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.

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  (919): I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/lixe
  Replies (35) Good night (1559) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?

  (408): View more from California

  we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.

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  (202): first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why? (408): we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try. http://tfl.nu/v7dh
  Replies (21) Good night (554) Bad night (1459)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i turned job hunting into a drinking game..

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  (651): i turned job hunting into a drinking game.. http://tfl.nu/xroj
  Replies (20) Good night (5673) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.

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  (623): Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/vksk
  Replies (42) Good night (796) Bad night (6122)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

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  (608): I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs. http://tfl.nu/6w3y
  Replies (31) Good night (6297) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.

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  (949): The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses. http://tfl.nu/cf7g
  Replies (25) Good night (3474) Bad night (2017)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...

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  (414): i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall... http://tfl.nu/m552
  Replies (3) Good night (3180) Bad night (771)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.

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  (226): I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience. http://tfl.nu/aa3x
  Replies (1) Good night (1662) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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  (814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw
  Replies (6) Good night (2622) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.

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  (423): Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach. http://tfl.nu/tnd1
  Replies (6) Good night (2335) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

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  (520): Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes http://tfl.nu/y839
  Replies (3) Good night (1332) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?

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  (614): I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat. (1-614): Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate? http://tfl.nu/mxr5
  Replies (8) Good night (2446) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"

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  (720): I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned" http://tfl.nu/ppef
  Replies (4) Good night (1195) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire

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  (810): I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire http://tfl.nu/lsgu
  Replies (7) Good night (2069) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.

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  (519): If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving. http://tfl.nu/lmm0
  Replies (10) Good night (1015) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt

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